“Being strong is not the same as being a strong being. I should know because cowardice runs in my family, as I always run from my fears.”

“My dad taught me everything I know about being a man, and most of what I know about being a woman. The rest I had to learn from textbooks.”

“Handcuffs barely wrap around the girth of my penis. I should run for Congress.”

“I notice when you’re gone. With you not being there I notice your unbeing, with you still being a being in time but not my space.”

“I am the leprechaun I rainbow into being. Buy me a beer, and get to know my inner midget.”

“Being in love is like being lit on fire and having your loved one morph into a marshmallow as she runs to embrace you. But not being in love feels so much worse, possibly like being a tax collector. Actually, nothing compares to the lowliness of a tax collector.
”

“Since the day I was born, I’ve spent my time being a human being, and I regard this as a good decision. But not a great one.”