“Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.”

“Sharks are so stupid. They swam right up to the boat, and they couldn’t even tell that I was chumming the water with ketchup, rather than blood.”

“She took off her red pants, the shade of ketchup, to reveal softly tanned legs, like two French fries. But when she brought up price, I knew she was too good to be true. She was definitely NOT off the dollar menu.”

“Love is a tomato. And while it's true that I can live without a tomato, I could sure go for some ketchup.”

“When I saw her naked, my penis went from hash brown to French fry.
”

“I’m such a germaphobe that I think sanitation gloves should be thicker than boxing gloves.”

“I keep the ketchup in the fridge, though from now on I’m going to keep in the bottle. Less messy, I figure.”