“Books are portable companions. But so are midgets.”

“The book “Little Women,” what, is that about midgets? I freaking love midgets.”

“My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday’s coming up, so I’m half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it.”

“Before bed I do a bit of light reading. I’m reading a 50-pound book on midgets.”

“I’m so tall I make midgets look like dwarves.”

“I could do more pull-ups with a midget on my back, than a midget could do with me on his back. This makes me the superior land animal.”

“I bought you a box of karate chops, but it could be dangerous to open it with a knife. And cats are masters at getting into boxes, so here, try opening it with my portable meow maker.
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