“Bring on hyperinflation! I want to be a millionaire with minimal work.”

“I want to price my next book and adjust it for the coming hyperinflation. So instead of the normal one dollar price, I’ll charge $1,000,000.00. If I sell one copy now I’ll be a happy man, and if I sell a million copies after hyperinflation hits in a few years then I’ll be equally as happy.”

“I want to bring as much love into the world as I can. Where am I bringing it from? I’m going to bring it up from hell.”

“I don’t want to bring it up, but you do live on the top floor and the elevator’s broken. So that’s why I don’t want to bring it up.”

“I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give him any mail. Maybe he will appreciate the thought, or maybe he will feel I am making more work for him.”

“The US has the highest incarceration rate in the world. I don’t want to release the prisoners—I want to lease them. If they’re not going to work, they might as well not work for me.”

“When I visit England, I want to bring back the best souvenir an American can get: a British accent.”