“Broke is a relative term, like sister, cousin, or Uncle Sam.
”

“I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of taking away your freedoms. –Uncle Sam
”

“I want to go to Martha’s Vineyard. I have an aunt named Martha. And an uncle by that name. Neither one is related to me.”

“Uncle Sam’s not related to me. He’s stuck his dick in the American Pie too many times to be welcome at my family picnics.”

“You’re under no obligation to accept my oppression, but it is strongly recommended. I’ll make you love me, even if I have to impoverish you and then imprison you. –Uncle Sam”

“Instead of selling other countries weapons, we should sell them candles. Maybe then instead of singing the praises of war, they’d start singing Happy Birthday. And I don’t know anybody, not even my bully of an uncle, Uncle Sam, who wants to start a fight during that song.”

“I collect collectivisms. I’ve already got socialism and communism, and all I need is fascism to complete the set. I’m looking to trade my dusty democracy, but Uncle Sam isn’t interested in a deal at this time. 
”