“By day I’m a dishwasher in a suit. By night I’m a dishwasher in pajamas.”

“I’ve got washboard abs. Go ahead, get rid of your dishwasher.”

“When I’m asleep I’m a politician, and when I’m awake I’m a criminal. Throughout the day and night, my mentality never changes.”

“If you were to stack up all the stupid things I’ve done, you couldn’t clean them with a thousand dishwashers.”

“The engine of my car is so powerful I could wash dishes under the hood. But that’d be pretty absurd, since I keep the dishwasher in the trunk.”

“You don’t need brass knuckles to discover if a man has a glass jaw. All you need to do is stick his face in a dishwasher, and then check for water spots.”

“I’m going to Australia. But first I’ve got to put on my swimming suit and stretch.”