“Call me Bitter Otter. It’s just a nickname I gave myself. However, a better descriptive and more realistic name for myself would be Tangy Walrus.”

“I want to make something of myself. I believe it’s called a statue.”

“I want to give myself a ridiculous nickname. Something like “Knuckle Cock,” only not so flowery and romantic sounding.”

“She drew me as a chubby rectangle. But that’s cool, because Chubby Rectangle was my nickname in high school. Hey, it’s better than Fats Domino.”

“I met two twins, each named Dakota. I nicknamed the older one North, and the younger one I called—you guessed it—Cock Tease.”

“I have pride in my name, because I have pride in myself. I do not represent my name—my name represents me.”

“It’s just a dream, I told myself. I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.”