“Can you break my five-dollar bill into five singles? Women love guys with lots of money.”

“If given the choice, I’d take five ones over a five-dollar bill, because women prefer men with lots of money.”

“If I ever get a 20-dollar bill, I like to convert it into 20 singles, because women like guys with lots of money.
”

“I’ll trade you one dollar for five dollars. What, is my money no good here?”

“If I only had five minutes left to live, I’d only be half as alarmed as normal, because my watch is five minutes fast. And I can get a lot done in 10 minutes.”

“Five minutes ago it was five minutes late, and my watch is five minutes slow.”

“It’s been said that you make as much money as the average income of your five closest friends. Well, I have no friends, so it’s no surprise that I have no money either.”