“Cats are the best. They don’t need haircuts, and they love to cuddle, unlike certain celebrities who’ve issued restraining orders against me.”

“How do you file a restraining order against sadness?”

“There are only two ways to love—in spite of yourself, and in spite of the restraining order.”

“Often you don’t know whether you’re the hero of a romantic comedy or the villain on a Lifetime special until the restraining order arrives.”

“It was hard to imagine feeling that magical tingling sensation in the pit of her belly anytime soon. Best not to worry about it, she thought. She didn't need it. Well. She didn't want to need it. Yearning for love made her feel like a cat that was always twining around ankles, meowing Pet me, pet me, look at me, love me. Better to be the cat gazing coolly down from a high wall, its expression inscrutable. The cat that shunned petting, that needed no one. Why couldn't she be that cat? Be that cat!!! she wrote, drawing it into the corner of her page, cool and aloof.”

“I am the alphabet soup of love. Eat me or read me, but don’t feed me to the cats.”