“Columbus was born around 1492. I say around because before that the world was flat. My stomach also used to be flat, but now it looks like a globe is about to be born.”

“I never wear flats. My shoes are so high that sometimes when I step out of them, people look around in confusion and ask, "Where'd she go?" and I have to say, "I'm down here.”

“I liked Christmas and this was Christmassy enough for us. Ellie and Adam’s flat looked like Santa had dropped around for a party, had too much to drink and puked up Christmas everywhere.”

“I want to write a short story where the protagonist is a globe, and all the secondary, or “flat” characters, are all maps. It’ll be a story about boundaries.”

“Let me tell you something. You win life's lottery when you're born--especially if you're born in the United States, hands down the best place in the world to begin and live your life. You're an American, the envy of people around the globe. From that point on everything else is gravy--and it's all up to you.”

“On day one of the drive, I saw my first dome sky. The world was so flat that I could see the level horizon all around me and the sky looked like a dome. Skies like that will give you perspective when nothing else will. The second day, a tumbleweed blew across the interstate. I’m in a western movie, I said to myself, laughing. I found it so much easier to laugh now that this weight had been lifted from my shoulders.”