“Critique my better work only, because I want to get better from my best, not better from my worst.”

“A brick could make everything better for me. Now, if I could only find a way to get my hands on one. But it’s a silly dream, because I don’t have the ambition to get out from under my blanket and go out and grab the very thing I most desire. 
”

“My time at the pool went swimmingly. Better than a nude beach, because I was the only one who was naked.”

“You could say my book is the best book ever (or worst book ever), and it wouldn’t make it any better (or worse) than it is. All art exists outside and beyond criticism.”

“If I had a clone, he’d better be my equal, and not my better. Can you imagine how I’d feel being jealous of myself?”

“My motto is: If I didn’t do it first, I want to do it better. Boy, I sure hope none of my clones will have the same motto.”

“My birthday is coming up. I was born on March 5th, 1982. Humans have come a long way since then—nearly 30 years, if my math is good. And my math better be good, because if my math’s no good, what’s that leave? I mean aside from English, art, science, social studies, history, geography, P.E., recess, and of course, lunch.
”