“Dear 30 years old, why are you stalking me? Please leave me alone or I’ll be forced to alert the authorities.”

“I’m 30-years-old, and I still can’t get out from under my father’s shadow. He’s really tall, so maybe I’ll just ask him to move over a few feet.”

“I’m in great shape. I’m 30 years old, and I feel like I’m 29.”

“Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes. You can’t fool an old sheep like me. To prove it, I’ll tell you that I’ve been continuously voting for the same person for president for years and years, a few of them even before he died.”

“I’ll be 30 in April. My birthday is March 5th.”

“Dear mom, My lieutenant is a prostitute. Can you please send me more lunch money, as her rates have recently increased.”

“I’m 30% in love, and if I ever rise to 70%, then I’ll be 100% in love. But I’ll still be mathematically challenged.”