“Do not oppose my opposable thumbs. If you do, we’ll have a thumb war.”

“I call my thumb Napoleon, because I rarely ever lose a thumb war. Also because my thumb's so small, and I wear a tiny funny hat and cape on it.”

“I once went toe to toe with an international thumb war champion.”

“I plugged the hole up with my thumb, so at least I wouldn’t sink. But it was really uncomfortable floating on that lake with my thumb up my ass.”

“My rule of thumb for hitchhiking is: stick it up straight and proud and make if visible to all drivers.”

“I laced up my sneakers, but not with the intention to sneak around. I was just going to skulk for a bit, when out of the blue I discovered my green thumb and ended up doing a bit of gardening. I really had no idea I was such a badass until that moment.”

“Instead of breaking people down, try building them up. Every person is a brick, and if you are a successful builder, you’ll have a formidable wall, and few people willing to oppose you.”