“Do you find it erotic how my pants bulge in the crotch, where I keep my coffee cup?”

“The zipper on my crotch is an air vent. I need some way to cool down my hot coffee.”

“Wait!"What?" I lowered my cup hastily, wondering if maybe there was a stray hair, or worse, a newly boiled bug inside my cup.You got to smell it first. It's the proper way to cup coffee."Cup coffee?"Taste it."What? Are you the coffee police or something?”

“It doesn't matter where you're from - or how you feel... There's always peace in a strong cup of coffee.”

“Sally put his gun back in his pants. "Guess I flunked the estrogen test."We all stared at his crotch, and Grandma said what Lula and I were thinking."I thought that bulge was your dingdong,"Grandma said."Jesus," Sally said, "who do you think I am, Thunder the Wonder Horse? My gun wouldn't fit in my purse.""You need to get a smaller gun," Lula said. "Ruins your lines with that big old Glock in your drawers.”

“Coffee isn't my cup of tea.”