“Do you need some birthday dick? I once got dick for my birthday—my first birthday, in fact. That’s how they knew I was a boy.”

“I know it’s not your birthday, but would you like some birthday dick? It’s on sale today.”

“I was nine minutes late for my last birthday party. And I was nine months on time for my first birthday.”

“The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents.”

“My niece just turned one. I gave her a birthday card that read, "If you can read this, Happy Birthday!”

“For your birthday I got you some batteries. They’re dead, just like you’ll soon be.”

“When I was a kid, I was just a boy. But that all changed by my 18th birthday. No longer a kid, I was a full-fledged goat.”