“Does Ziploc make body bags? I’ll bet the corpses would stay fresher for longer if they did.”

“I sell Ziploc bags. They’re not empty—they’re full of hope.”

“A blanket could be used to save your marriage. But to be honest, I’d recommend saving your marriage in a Tupperware container. That way it’ll stay fresher for longer.
”

“At the time of the murder, I had an airtight alibi: I spent the night in a Ziploc bag.”

“Dude, got eyes? I'm collecting evidence." [...] "In Ziploc bags.""I think they're Glad.""They look impartial to me.”

“Don’t worry.   Your knight in shining armor will arrive someday.   And when he does, I know he’ll not only be totally adorable, but he’ll be a good cuddler, too.   I’ll bet Trip is a horrible cuddler.”   I narrowed my eyes at the offender, ignoring his amazing body in favor of his imagined snuggling crimes. “Yeah,” said Peter, gamely.   “He probably just lays there and expects to be the cuddlee all the time and not the cuddler.” “You are so right.   Just look at him.   I’ll bet you twenty bucks he’s a cover-stealer, too.” “Not that twenty bucks means anything, since bills are only good for feeding fires right now, but yeah.   I get it.   I’ll bet you a can of beans he’s a cover-stealer.” “A can of beans and a bag of chips,” I countered. “Whoa.   That’s serious.   A bag of chips?   Really?” “What’s serious?” asked Kowi, coming up from behind and scaring both of us enough to make us jump. “Uh … nothing?” I said, looking sheepish.”