“Don’t just stand there with your Eiffel Tower smile. Tell me you love me, and tell me in French.
”

“Don’t tell me your name. If you don’t tell me your name, I can’t hurt your feelings by forgetting it.”

“You don’t have to tell me why, if you tell me why you won’t tell me why. Or at the very least tell me why you won’t tell me why you won’t tell me why.”

“-The good guys are coming, boss. What do you want me to do?-Don’t just stand there, you idiot. Ram them with your erection!”

“I don’t have to tell you, “I don’t have to tell you” before telling you something I don’t have to tell you. I also don't have to tell you I love you, but I do.”

“A brick could be used to tell time. And just between you and me, I hope that brick tells time to go to hell.
”

“I’ll tell you about love on one condition: that you give it to me unconditionally.”