“Don’t point your accusatory finger at me, unless you want me to wrap my hand around it, grip it tight, and jerk it off. That’s how a real politician defers blame.”

“Can America get back to a point where politicians are honest? Not unless that point is the tip of a sword.”

“I eat spaghetti with my fingers, because it reminds me of me running my fingers through her wet red hair. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“A brick could be fired out of a cannon, in an attempt to bring down a brick wall, just as index fingers could be severed and flicked at politicians, to try to correctly redirect blame.
”

“Love is all around. I don’t need your leftovers, ma’am. Not unless you’re offering meatloaf.”

“If I shake your hand, and then jack off, it’s as if you gave me an indirect handjob.
”

“A blanket can be wrapped around one’s head and used as a helmet. It’s particularly appropriate if you wear your blanket helmet during a pillow fight with me, because unbeknownst to you, I’ll have a brick stuffed at the bottom of my pillowcase.
”