“Don’t raise your hand to ask a question, or I’ll give you a surprise high five.”

“I have assigned myself a Hooray Factor of five. This is the top level, and is the only level that has a physical representation—that of a high five. But don’t try to give me a high five, because I’m the only person in the world with a Hooray Factor of five. So until my clones get here, I’ll just have to continue to high five my reflection in the mirror.”

“I’ll wait until your mouth is full of food before I ask you a question. I’m like a dentist.”

“I did not approve of your action—I was merely congratulating myself. What you mistook for clapping was merely me giving myself multiple high fives.”

“Tomorrow night I’m giving a lecture on silence and invisibility. Don’t be surprised if I don’t show up.
”

“If you’re wearing a space suit, I’ll take a unicrescent sandwich; hold the mayonnaise—and the moon. (But don’t hold it in your hands.) Let us dance like the moon is hollow and inhabited by beings of light who give off enough energy so I can be a night nudist.”

“Charity can be a good thing. But the only cause I’ll support is because. Don’t ask me why.”