“Don’t show me how I messed up, because I don’t need to be shown. Clearly if I’ve messed up once, I can do it again without any coaching from you.”

“Try my all-you-can-eat vomit soup. Sadly, people don’t want seconds, because they don’t even want firsts. But it tastes great. I tasted it on the way down—and then again on the way up.”

“Tomorrow night I’m giving a lecture on silence and invisibility. Don’t be surprised if I don’t show up.
”

“I don’t worry about identity theft, because I don’t even know who I am as a person. So if I’m not even in possession of my own identity, how can it be stolen from me?”

“I don’t know how to say it without saying it, so I’ll just not say it. Or I could show it, because that’s the only way to make love visible.”

“I don’t want to bring it up, but you do live on the top floor and the elevator’s broken. So that’s why I don’t want to bring it up.”

“I eat fog soup (out of a can). You don’t think I make it fresh, do you? You don’t need a spoon or straw to enjoy it—you need a pipe to inhale it.”