“Dream headline from Orafouraville Times: Man Let Go By Employer, Falls To Death”

“The headline read, Man Saves Child From Burning House, and I just have to ask: Why did that kid want to burn down the house?”

“I am the man of your dreams. Go back to sleep.”

“I could be the man of your dreams. I could also be the alarm clock, stealing you away from the man of your dreams.”

“A part-time worker is fully employed, half the time. In other words, they are part-time unemployees.”

“You may be dying, but I’m going to have a picnic and enjoy this glorious day. I won’t let your impending death spoil my afternoon.”

“Employment: I’ll trade my time and labor for your money. So time is not money, because money is time plus labor. I spend my time saving money, I spend my money saving time, and I labor hard to not labor hard.”