“Education will only take you so far. To go even further, I’d recommend getting a piggyback ride from a midget half your body weight.”

“One thing I often get carried away with is piggyback rides.”

“How many midgets does it take to take over the world? I’m not sure, but I’d guess twice as many.”

“Her car is being repaired, so I offered to give her a lift to work tomorrow. I hope she likes piggyback rides.”

“A brick could be used to represent society as a whole. But to represent society as a half, I’d recommend using either a full carton of half and half, or a half-full carton of whole milk.
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“Sometimes my thoughts are too slimy for my brain, and they come shooting out of my penis. They are life-changing thoughts, so I’d recommend taking them deep inside of you.
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“A brick could be thrown, like a football, only instead of a wide receiver, I’d recommend sending out a politician to catch your pass.
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