“Every time the wind blows I think of her. I wonder if I could generate electricity off my yearning. Maybe a mind wind farm of some kind. Hopefully I could provide enough power for all the lonely people in my bathtub to stay warm.”

“I carry all of my childhood memories in my mind. But maybe that’s not the best place for them. Well, you’ve got some extra space in your closet. Do you think I could store them there?”

“I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop.”

“I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I don’t think my bathtub can hold that many people.
”

“My lips touched hers, like two butterflies in the wind. Then I went home, cut off my eyelids, and I’ve been living in darkness since.”

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a cat guy. Every night as I go to sleep, I have this particular fantasy I indulge in. Most men dream about naked women, but not me. I dream about being isolated in a mountainous forest in the middle of winter, and all I have to stay warm is a single blanket and a cat. In my mind I curl up like a ball with Cap’n tucked in close as we keep each other warm despite the fierce winds raging like a bull around us. Then, after about five minutes of this, we are rescued by a helicopter full of nude models.”

“My body had some sort of reaction to my erection, and the only thing I could think to do was vigorously rub the affected area. By the look on their faces, I could tell the other people in the restaurant found my holistic technique horrifying, and they didn’t appreciate the grasp of the situation I held at that moment.”