“Everywhere I go, I’m second to arrive. My reputation precedes me, and sometimes it skips out on the bill.”

“My reputation precedes me. It shows up about fifteen minutes before I do, eats, and then leaves without paying or tipping.”

“I won’t ever walk out on my woman, not even if she gives me Gatorade and says I’m good to go.”

“Thirteen of us ate supper, and then one of us died. Unfortunately, he did not rise from the dead to pay his dinner bill. And he wasn’t the only one to skip out without paying, but surely one of the eleven graciously paid for me.”

“There’s truth in only having a bicycle seat. I used to skip class and just hold it out in the hallway. When teachers would ask me what I was doing, I’d hold it up and say, “Sorry I’m late.”

“A brick could be used to show how patient you are. Somewhere between one brick and a million bricks lies a home. For me, my home is one brick, and I carry it with me wherever I go, because I’m always on the move. Maybe one day, when I’m a wealthy man, I’ll get a second brick and walk around with my mansion in my hands.
”

“I have slightly less than 60 miles to go, and I’m going slightly faster than 60 miles per hour. I should arrive in a bad mood.”