“Flatulence is the international language. Speak it with your anus. Hear it through your ears. Listen through your nose.”

“After I speak, my words merge with the wind, and if you’re listening, your ears act like sails and carry the conversation.”

“Dear cat, your ears are flipped inside out, so I know you’re not listening to a word I’m not saying.”

“I gave blood today. It came gushing out of my nose. And anus.”

“We shouldn’t eat raw food. In fact, we probably shouldn’t even be listening to the radio. Too much nudity soaking in through our ears.”

“A fan can be used as a listening device, pushing sound waves towards your ears, along with cool air. I listen harder than a hurricane, and that’s why I have a vacant and evacuated expression.”

“You stare down your opponent, lights twinkle, but you don’t blink. This is all you and that’s all him, and it ain’t all that much. An instant later you wake up in a hospital. Your anus hurts. Long live sports.”