“For men, money, like sex, is something that nearly everybody wants more of, and unless you are famous or influential, you probably have to work hard to get any.”

“Most men want sex, without the kids or commitment. I want sex, but I don’t want to have to pay any money. But is that possible? I should invent a vending machine that dispenses sex. I guess it’ll also distribute political favors.”

“I want to get even. I want to get even more money.”

“Women won’t sleep with me for the same reason that I don’t pay for sex—I don’t have any money. And if I did have money, I wouldn’t pay for sex, because women would sleep with me for free.”

“I don’t dress like I have any money. And I don’t have any money, which helps enable me to dress like that.”

“Whenever you have a goal, it's a good idea to have both a plan A and a back-up Plan B, unless you are illiterate. But in that case you are probably homeless and have no goals anyway.”

“I like sex. Let’s get a group together. You know, for a better discount.”