“Forget food for thought. Give me food for my belly.”

“Instead of hatching a plan, why not break it open prematurely and use it to make an omelet? It’s just food for thought. Actually, it’s thought for food.”

“My meat smells like cat food. Makes me want to lick my own asshole.”

“I like food that speaks to me. Food like French toast, English muffins, and Deviled eggs. Oh, oval embryonic spawn of chicken, why hast thou deceived me?”

“It’s been said that men think only about sex and food. And some men, like my uncle Lester, think about sex with food. Needless to say the church has ordered him to cease bringing his own food to the potlucks.”

“Onions enhance the flavor of food, and the taste of my kisses.
”

“I am the food of love. And do you know what food that is? Distilled barley.”