“Getting struck by lightning is like winning the lottery, except of course, not as lucky.”

“The man who pulled my winning raffle ticket out of the hat said I was one lucky guy. I guess he didn’t see me standing next to my clone, so I replied, “I am two lucky guys.”

“Nothing in this world feels quite like freedom, except for freedom. And nothing in the world tastes quite like freedom, except for fried bald eagles.”

“Love, like lightning, can strike anytime. That’s why I say tinfoil is not just for leftovers—it’s for channeling romance into your life.”

“Nobody likes a dick. Except a pussy. Or an asshole. Or a goat’s mouth.”

“Love is like war, except without all the blood and death and stuff.”

“I don’t like dirt, because nothing is dirtier. Except politics.
”