“Give me 10 pins and a hardwood lane, and I’ll bowl. Just as long as that bowl is full of spaghetti. I’ll always be a champion, when I’m the only one in the competition.”

“When I’m feeling down, I make myself a big bowl of Up Soup. The bowl only looks empty, but in reality it’s full of hope. Grab a spoon, there’s plenty for both of us.”

“I’ll make a soup out of sound, and I’ll call it “Decibels.” You can get a cup or a bowl, a small or a large, and they’ll both have the same volume.”

“You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I’ll also be late.”

“She’s beautiful, but she’s also got brains. I’ll bet zombies would love to eat out of her skull like a bowl of Jell-O that had an IQ of 180—which is absurd, because the last bowl of Jell-O I ate only measured in with an IQ of 123. Still, an IQ of 123 is more than double what it probably takes to be elected into political office.”

“I bought you a gift. It’s something I’ve always wanted, but I’m not quite sure you’ll like it. So if you don’t want it just tell me and I’ll be happy to keep it. After all, I’m only interested in making you happy. 
”

“I’ll leave my disconnected cell phone as collateral, and I’ll call you on it when I’m able to pay.”