“Good friends are like appendages. It's painful to lose one, and crippling to lose two or more.”

“I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser.”

“Losing a child must be the second most painful thing ever. The most painful thing would be to lose the child, find him, and then watch him be murdered by his sibling, who happens to contain half of Satan’s DNA.”

“The pain I felt when I lost my glove was nothing compared to the pain I felt losing my hand as well.”

“After losing my job, I felt the only options available to me were razors, cyanide, or a shot to the face, until Renaldo, being the good friend that he is, reminded me how to tie a noose.
”

“If footballs were the size of acorns, they’d be easy to lose in the forest. Virginity is also easy to lose in the forest, and mine, believe it or not, was shaped like an acorn.”

“I’m losing more hours of sunlight at night than anywhere else.”