“Good things come to those who ate. And I’m stuffed. Like a teddy bear. That might be why I’m the World Cuddling Champion.”

“Good things come to those who ate. I’m going to wait to eat. I just got done swallowing my pride, and I’ll be full for the foreseeable future.”

“I’m looking for a full-time portable heat generator. Must be willing to travel. If you don’t snuggle, you must cuddle—at a world champion level.”

“I’m in no position to criticize, because I’m in the fetal position, and I’m bound and gagged and stuffed in the trunk of a Mercedes.”

“I’m into extreme sports. Well, just one—cuddling.”

“Dream dialogue: 
-Don’t cry. I, too, know what it’s like to be different.
-But I’m not different. I’m normal, I’m average, and that’s why I’m crying.”

“Love is like a portable lamp/sex toy. The world calls those flashlights, but I’m much more romantic.”