“Good things come to those who ate. I’m going to wait to eat. I just got done swallowing my pride, and I’ll be full for the foreseeable future.”

“Good things come to those who ate. And I’m stuffed. Like a teddy bear. That might be why I’m the World Cuddling Champion.”

“I’ll wait until your mouth is full of food before I ask you a question. I’m like a dentist.”

“I fear one day I’ll get a knock at my front door, and I’ll answer it to find myself standing there. Then I’ll hear myself say, “Hi, I’m from the future, and I’m here to destroy you.” But that is irrational. The future me isn’t out to destroy me, because the me of my past already did a thorough job demolishing my present and possible future.”

“I’m going on vacation, and I’m leaving my clone in charge. I’ll be gone, but I’ll be here.”

“Just got done giving my cat a haircut and eating dinner. The two events are unrelated, though I might cough up a hairball later on.”

“I want to go to Sing Sing prison. I’ll bet they’ve got a good chorus.”