“Governments are too stupid to understand that too much red tape does not bind a nation together—it tears it apart.”

“For me, TV and broke go together. Not as in, The TV is broken, but more of noticing that most people who watch too much TV are broke.”

“I want to open a broken marriage repair shop. I’m not a counselor or psychologist, but I am a fan of the magical bonding that occurs between two people when duct tape binds them together for a long period of time in a dark basement. Refer a friend, and you get a two for one abuse session.”

“I’m angry as hell. I’m angry for all the people who should be angry but aren’t, either because they’re too stupid or too timid.”

“It’s better to say something too little, than nothing too much.”

“Kill all the prisoners, because they’re costing us too much money. Wait! No, kill all the politicians, because they’re spending too much money.”

“There’s too much nudity on TV, and not enough on the radio.”