“Grab life by the tail, and then pet it.”

“My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up petting a painting instead. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason.
”

“I have so many pet peeves that I can’t even pet them all. And damn I wish they were furry.”

“Question for your life: If there were a fountain machine that dispensed destruction instead of soda, would you grab an extra large cup?”

“I often laugh at a dog that chases its own tail. But aren’t there some people out there who spend a lot of time “chasing their own tails?” Well, maybe those people should seriously consider getting their tails surgically removed. It did wonders for my self-esteem.”

“Love reminds me of when I was six and had a pet goldfish named “Silverbird” that I carried around the house, petting it like a cat. Needless to say it died. So I ate it.”