“Habits are patterns, and even the smallest ones tell a lot about who you are as a person.”

“Just by looking at a picture, I can tell a lot about a person. Right off the bat, I can tell if they’re a human or a bat. Or Batman.”

“You can tell a lot about a person's character by how they do life's menial tasks. For example, I saw my neighbor washing dishes, and I could immediately tell that he was an adulterer by the way my wife's naked body glistened through his kitchen window.”

“I’m probably the last person on earth who will tell you I want to be the last person on earth.”

“I make art for one person and one person only. And as soon as I find that one person, I sure hope he has a lot of wall space, because he’ll be getting a lot of art from me.”

“Jarod Kintz likes writing about himself in the third person, because he really relates to the third person. The odd man out. If two is company, then the first person and the second person are just fine together. But why is the third person always hanging around? Jarod often feels like that outsider, the person on the smallest pedestal, the bronze medalist of personal pronouns. If the third person makes you feel like she-it, then maybe you can relate to some of Jarod’s work.”

“Politics are like shoes. On one side you have the left, and on the other side you have the right. And every politician is essentially a shoe salesman trying to sell you one shoe, either the left or the right, whichever one he stands for. So I guess the only people who vote with complete confidence on election day are the ones with only one leg, and who's political stance matches their needs exactly. But I must say, a person loses a lot of personal freedom when they only have one leg.”