“Half of what I write is garbage, but if I don't write it down it decomposes in my head.”

“I write down my dreams. I use the excuse “I’m writing” to sleep all the time.”

“This book has nothing to do with cats. Or mice. Or self-motivation. This book is 100% 50% finished. But don’t worry, I finished the good half. But don’t be mistaken—the good half isn’t good at all. In fact, it’s remarkably terrible. It’s only good in relation to the half I didn’t get around to writing. After all, the worst writing is the writing that couldn’t be bothered to be written down.”

“My new book is going well. It’s practically writing itself! Actually, what I mean is I’m not writing it, my clone is.”

“What I like most about reading is I can read in minutes what it took the author hours to write. What I like most about writing is readers can read in minutes what it took me seconds to write.”

“Writer’s want to write something that’ll live forever. I don’t. What do I care if my writing lives forever if I won’t? I just want to be recognized while I’m still alive. 
”

“I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.”