“He was a vegetable, so trying to change his mind was fruitless.”

“Vegetables come from the ground. So does my love. Eat it raw.”

“Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time.”

“I was going to change my clothes, but I changed my mind instead.”

“A root vegetable went missing. Maybe it will turnip in my next bad pun.”

“I close my eyes and feel the texture of brick on my fingers in my mind. I try to imagine the wall that surrounds your heart, so I can best devise a plan to breach it.”

“Yes, fruits and vegetables are healthy. But you want to know why I eat them? Revenge.”