“He’s a year shorter than me, but he’s a foot younger. I love him like the brother of an only child.”

“He’s only two years younger, but that doesn’t mean I’m not old enough to be his father. I grew up fast. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“I don’t think he’s dumber than a politician. But only because it’s not possible to be dumber than a politician.”

“Love is the color of red inverted. At least that’s what Gunnar Greenlove told me, and I believe him because he’s from an island where half the people tell only the truth and half tell only lies. Not only that, but the island has a population of two, and I am the other inhabitant.”

“He’s pale, bald, and bony. He looks like a skeleton. And that, my friend, is precisely why I keep him in my closet.”

“He’s being silent again. Tell him to be quiet.”

“He’s a monk, the fifth of his kind. I call him Monk E, and he is a primate.”