“I always thought I’d make a great backup singer. I don’t practice. It’s just pure talent.”

“A great band name would be Tickling Whiskers. Especially if the lead singer is a cat. I’d love to audition for backup dancer.”

“If I have to beat you up to keep you safe, that’s just what I’ll do. It’s this kind of regard for others that makes me believe I’d be a good politician.”

“I bought you a gift. It’s something I’ve always wanted, but I’m not quite sure you’ll like it. So if you don’t want it just tell me and I’ll be happy to keep it. After all, I’m only interested in making you happy. 
”

“I’d make a great politician. I’d make it out of pig shit, so it wouldn’t be as foul as it is now.”

“I saw a baby make a boom-boom in his diaper, and I thought, I’d never have suspected him of being a terrorist.”

“Instead of hatching a plan, why not break it open prematurely and use it to make an omelet? It’s just food for thought. Actually, it’s thought for food.”