“I always wear gloves, so at any moment I could commit a crime and not be worried about fingerprints. Plus, it saves on buying hand sanitizer.”

“I always wear gloves when I wash my hands. That’s also how I make love, and if you buy now I’ll throw in an extra bar of soap for FREE.”

“I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.”

“I’m such a germaphobe that I think sanitation gloves should be thicker than boxing gloves.”

“If I shake your hand, will I get my fingerprints all over your fingertips? I hope not. Otherwise the crime scene, and the shaft of my penis, is riddled with my fingerprints.”

“By a simple show of hands, who here is wearing gloves?”

“I used his severed hand as a murder weapon. I hope I didn’t get my fingerprints on his fingerprints.”