“I always wear size 14 boat shoes that are so old they could have been built by Noah.”

“Just because I wear a size 14 shoe does not mean I’ll take it off when I go to shake your hand.”

“How many birthdays can you fit in a shoebox? I guess that depends both on how old you are, and what size shoe you wear.”

“I wanted “300” to be less about fighting, and more about bowling. At least they could have had the Spartans wear bowling shoes.”

“I always wear gloves, so at any moment I could commit a crime and not be worried about fingerprints. Plus, it saves on buying hand sanitizer.”

“Dancing? Not only do I have two left feet, but they’re different sizes. And I don’t put them in shoes—I store them in glass jars in my basement.”

“Learning how to love is like learning how to tie your shoes, and that’s precisely why I wear slippers.”