“I am a love factory. I make love out of high quality plastics at an affordable price.”

“I am not the No Factory I yessed into existence. I love with an intensity that needs to be felt to be purred.”

“I’m the Director of Redundancy. I’m also the Director. I make love like I make love, and that is why I am the Director of Redundancy.”

“I am the broth of love. Make soup to me.”

“I am the sunrise of sunsets, and I make love like noon at midnight.”

“I love pan pizza. I love pans. I love Peter Pan. I love Peter, but not as much as I love Paul. As you can see, I have a lot of love—and between now and Christmas it’s all at a 33.3% reduced price.”

“Love is patient and love is kind. Damn! Why’d it have to be the two qualities I wasn’t born with?”