“I am approximately 96.694444% in love with you. Of course, that’s just a rough estimate.”

“I make love like a half an hour minus 27 minutes. If you’re as bad in bed as I am in math, that’s roughly four minutes. And I do mean rough.”

“Jews are estimated to be less than 1% of the world's population yet approximately 25% of the world's billionaires are Jewish.”

“You may not instantly see why I bring the subject up, but that is because my mind works so phenomenally fast, and I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.”“Er, five,” said the mattress.“Wrong,” said Marvin. “You see?”

“I am obsessed with beauty. I want everything to be perfect, and of course it isn’t. And that’s a tough place to be because you’re never satisfied.”

“I am not done with my course! I am just getting the show on the road.”