“I am greedy with water. I made your apology tea dry. I’m sorry. You might try snorting it out of the bag.”

“I serve the people. Am I a politician? No, I’m just a greedy and corrupt waiter.”

“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.”

“The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m like that with love, too. Don’t you dare add any ice to the hot liquid loving I’m trying to pour all over you.”

“I’m big on body language. If you give me the air hand job gesture, I might try to stick my dick in your closed, circular hand.”

“If I offer you a glass of water, and bring back a cup of ice, I’m trying to teach you patience. And also that sometimes you get ice with no water, and later you’ll get water with no ice. Ah, but that’s life, no?
”

“I have three sets of humor. One I keep in a bag of salt, because it’s the dry one.
”