“I am not a professionally trained professional. I am an amateur professional!”

“I removed all the doors to our love, so you can’t lock yourself away from me. But I didn’t stop there. I also replaced the doors with metal detectors, so I could fondle you more efficiently, like the highly trained professionals do who run airport security.
”

“I am a professional photographer by trade and an amateur photographer by vocation.”

“I am a trained professional liar. Do not read me as a textbook.”

“Amateurs train until they get it right. Professionals train until they cannot get it wrong.”

“I am a contraction. I am I’m.”

“The question is not where am I, but who am I? Where I am: Inside the body of my clone.”