“I am the leprechaun I rainbow into being. Buy me a beer, and get to know my inner midget.”

“I make love like a leprechaun, and I cuddle like a rainbow—after a shower.”

“I am the rainbow of love. Even if things get stormy, you know you can count on me. Call me Roy G. Biv, and I’ll ride you like a pony.”

“I could do more pull-ups with a midget on my back, than a midget could do with me on his back. This makes me the superior land animal.”

“I consider seeing my 30th birthday an accomplishment. You know, not many midgets live to be this tall.”

“When I get excited I drool. That’s why I buy bibs wholesale from my dentist. Based on that alone you could label me a romantic.”

“The book “Little Women,” what, is that about midgets? I freaking love midgets.”