“I am the melted cheese of desire. Please, feel free to double dip.”

“I’d never own a Hooters, because while I may be the face of the franchise, people only ever look at the breasts. Makes me feel like a piece of meat—medium rare, with melted cheese on top.”

“We made love like I make grilled cheese sandwiches. I had no idea what I was doing, but she melted into me all the same.”

“When trying to find the words to tell her how much I loved her, I stumbled across the ingredients for grilled cheese sandwiches. That’s when I realized she was the melted cheese to my toast. And the guy she’s currently seeing, the guy she left me for, well, I guess he is the tomato soup.”

“Respect is something that should be earned, like eyebrows shaped like windshield wipers in a stormy arcade evening. I like my respect with lots of elbow room and melted cheese on top.”

“I need your compliments to feed my ego, because it’s bored of mac and cheese. And honestly, so am I.”

“A book is a vacation for the mind. My books will take you inside my mind, so feel free to make yourself at home. Do as you please, but please don’t put your feet up on my hippocampus.”