“I am the time machine of love. Quick, pull my big lever!”

“I am the love machine of desire. I’m easy to operate. Just pull on my lever.”

“I am the washing machine of love. And if you have no idea what I mean, maybe it’s time to let some laundry into your life.”

“So I am to be Robert’s replacement. On the one hand, there is no pressure, because it’s not like I am replacing the cool guy that left that everybody loved. But at the same time, the pressure is huge, because if I screw up, my coworkers will all say, “Jarod’s a terrible employee. He’s so bad that even the lifeless robot was better and more hospitable than him.” It’s man vs. machine, and I am the underdog. I need to go buy a “How to be Better than a Dummy for Dummies” book before tomorrow so I’m not the most recent victim in a long line of human defeats at the hands of machine.”

“I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.”

“My brain is an amazing machine. Too bad I can’t take credit for it. As brilliant as I am, think how profound the Designer that created me is.”

“Quick! Hide under my 3:33 am, but don’t pet my 3:33 pm.”