“I am the Wakeboard of Love, if you catch my drift.”

“I am the dinosaur of love. Specifically, I am a pterodactyl, and you are my silent “p.” Stay quiet woman!”

“I am the earthquake of love. How you feel is my fault.”

“I am an orange construction cone, and I say to you, “Caution.” This is my advice for love—and for driving while blindfolded, which is safer than love.”

“I’m about to cross a time zone, and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, maybe I can catch up to the love of my youth.”

“I am an octopus on four wheels. What are my four free arms for? To better love you, of course.”

“I am the kangaroo of love. Do you question it? You can take your skepticism and stuff it straight down my pouch.”