“I believe I believe I can succeed, and this belief is the foundation for my belief.”

“All I know is I don’t know if I know, and this everlasting oscillation shakes my belief system.”

“I drink hot coffee in the summer, and iced coffee in the winter. I’m a contrarian, and contrary to popular belief I'm not a sellout. I rent.”

“If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs).”

“I can’t believe you think that I can’t believe you don’t think that.”

“I gathered all my eggs in one basket, because I believe in collectivism, and I wanted a tyrannical omelet.”

“I don’t believe in the zodiac. Whenever anybody asks me what my sign is, I always say “Yield.”